Crumpets

... are the reason why toasters have a setting that will turn mere bread to ash.

Granted, toasters should not be labeled the way they are. Having numbers from 1 to 5, or any such ordering is useless. I propose a new dial label that goes something like:
|-Toast-|-------Burnt Toast-------|-Crumpets-|

Here's a discussion about the importance of a good crumpet by some, unknown to me, gamers here in NZ.